As post-Easter exams approach, Life and Style's Jess Howlett shares her tips on how to remain motivated over EasterWritten by Guest Author on 19th March 2018
Sex at University: Are We Under Too Much Pressure?
Beth Lewis reminds us to ignore society's pressure surrounding sex
With meeting so many new people at university, mixed with a lot of alcohol and nights out, the opportunity for sex vastly increases. Along with this, many people feel the expectation to have sex, which can become very stressful. While yes, casual sex is common at uni, it’s also not as big a deal as everyone makes it out to be. Many of us assume that university is mainly about sex and alcohol, which can be intimidating- but is that even true?
A huge problem surrounding sex are the judgements that are often made for your decisions. Whether you’re more of a hopeless romantic or if casual sex just doesn’t appeal to you, you shouldn’t feel like you have to justify your choices, or put up with being called ‘frigid’ or ‘boring’ for not wanting to have sex. On the other hand, it’s completely acceptable to want to engage in casual sex and you shouldn’t be judged for that either. After all, sex means completely different things to different people and we should respect each other regardless of our beliefs on sex and relationships.
As well as the fear of judgements, peer pressure is also a huge issue that many people don’t know how to say no to. We shouldn’t feel pressured to have, or not to have sex at university, but unfortunately some people still think it’s okay to pressure their friends into doing something they are not completely comfortable with. It is important to make your own decisions and to not rely on other people to make them for you, as it’s not them that will have to face the consequences afterwards.
“Pressures in society to lose your virginity as quickly as possible can be overwhelming
The amount of people that regret sleeping with someone is extremely high, which is why many steer away from drunken sex for fear of wishing they could forget it ever happened.
For me, and many others, I have always made sure I drank the right amount of alcohol so that by the end of the night I had begun to sober up, meaning every decision I made was a conscious one.
Issues that still exist in society are often reflected at university: for example, the stigma that only women face of being labelled, while men are often praised by their peers for doing the exact same thing. The way women are perceived for having casual sex compared to men is something that I would argue is decreasing, but nevertheless is still very present and makes many women question how they should act regarding sex, which shouldn’t be the case. As well as this, pressures in society to lose your virginity as quickly as possible can be overwhelming, and it should be reinforced that having sex should be your choice that you are happy and not even slightly unsure about.
“The next time you’re in a club or find yourself in a situation where sex is a possibility, remember that the choice is completely yours and you shouldn’t in any way feel bad for your decisions
At the end of the day, contrary to what you may have believed before you arrived, university isn’t mainly about sex, but it is definitely there if you want it to be. The thought of finding an attractive person in a club can appeal to some people, until you bump into them in your next lecture, make an awkward ‘hello’ and spend the next year trying to avoid them. The next time you’re in a club or find yourself in a situation where sex is a possibility, remember that the choice is completely yours and you shouldn’t in any way feel bad for your decisions.