L&S writer Charlotte gives us her insight into long distance relationships at Uni… Coming to University with a boyfriend seems to cause much controversy, there seems to be vast swathes of people who immediately condemn any relationship to death when one or both parties head off to University. I realise now, no matter what I […]
L&S writer Charlotte gives us her insight into long distance relationships at Uni…
Coming to University with a boyfriend seems to cause much controversy, there seems to be vast swathes of people who immediately condemn any relationship to death when one or both parties head off to University.
I realise now, no matter what I say on the topic I will be wrong in the eyes of someone. I’ve been at University and a really long way away from my boyfriend for three weeks now. And it seems like forever. If I’d been writing this last week I’d have said YES! Long distance relationships can 100% last and work but now I’m not so sure.
The thing is both my partner and I are building entirely new lives, which by no means is a bad thing, however these new lives don’t always leave a lot of space for each other. So whilst I try to set aside time to Skype or talk on the phone to him most days he seems permanently too busy.
Therefore point one of how to make your relationship work at Uni: make sure BOTH parties are willing to make time for each other. Otherwise you will end up in a huge Skype fight and then next thing you know you’ll be crying on your flatmates and generally being a wet blanket.
I’ve been with my partner for about a year and a half now and so I’d definitely say that we had a strong base to support our long distance relationship. We both know each other’s flaws and therefore we should be able to deal with the distance right? Not in my case…I’m sure there are some couples out there who can sit and work things out over Skype but I feel like all my partner’s slightly annoying traits are exacerbated by the distance.
Which leads nicely to point two of how to make your relationship work at Uni: don’t pick fights over ridiculous things your partner has done, if they are doing something which is really bothering you think aboutwhat you are going to say and calmly explain it to them. Which is certainly much easier said than done.
A key question to ask yourself at a time like this is: Do I really see my partner and I together in the future? What if you’re not sure about that, don’t you think they are “The One”? That’s not a heinous crime; it’s just how you feel. But can I just ask why you’re staying with them?
You’re at University, at no other point in your life are you going to be so surrounded by likeminded people than those on your course. Also you’re being exposed to such a diverse group of people your own age through your societies or sports or just through socialising. You could meet that special person at any point.
Do you really want to be held back by someone you aren’t even convinced you want to be with forever? “But what if we don’t meet that special someone?!” I hear you cry; well you shouldn’t be afraid of being single. It’s not scary, no one will judge you and most importantly it gives you the chance to do whatever you want whenever you want.
So my final point for making a relationship work at Uni: Make sure you both really want it.
Written by Charlotte Spence