Taylor Swift’s lyric ‘And we see you over there on the internet/ Comparing all the girls who are killing it’ perfectly captures the media’s age-old desire to pit successful women against each other. I am by no means immune; conversations about the latest celebrity feuds can seem a fun, even trivial topic to indulge in. However, there is a harmful, patriarchal undertone to this fascination that should be acknowledged. 

Take the music industry, for example. Female feuds reinforce the idea that to break the big time you must adopt an individualist attitude to your career. In this male dominated industry, it is painted that female artists must fight for the ‘top spot;’ women are unable to thrive without comparison. 

Two victims of this narrative are Charli XCX and Taylor Swift, who the internet is convinced have bad blood. In 2018, Charli sparked a wave of backlash, referring to opening for Taylor’s Reputation tour as ‘getting up on stage and waving to five-year-olds’.

Fans argued she meant to belittle Swift’s audience and performance. However, Charli established that her words simply aimed to compare the wildly different experience of playing for all ages to her usual 18+ club shows. Too often, women’s words are picked apart; context removed and portraying them as malicious. 

This is a common theme in lyricism – devoted supporters believe they know a celebrity on a deep enough level to unravel the meaning behind their songs. Charli’s 2024 album ‘Brat’ quickly became a sensation. But with success, speculation will always follow. Fans have guessed that track three, ‘Sympathy is a knife’, is about her trying to live up to the dizzying heights of Taylor’s musical acclaim.

For instance, “Don’t wanna see her backstage at my boyfriend’s show. / Fingers crossed behind my back, I hope they break up quick,” could reference Charli’s contempt for Taylor’s relationship with Matty Healy, lead singer of the 1975. Taylor’s recent song ‘Actually Romantic’ added fuel to their perceived rivalry; she seems to directly address Charli: “wrote me a song saying it makes you sick to see my face”.

In my opinion, focusing on who or what occurs behind the scenes takes away from the song’s central message. In this case, “’Cause I couldn’t even be her if I tried. / I’m opposite; I’m on the other side” expresses the complex insecurities which stem from relentless comparison to fellow women in music.

It’s important to recognise the vast difference in how men are treated by the media. Kendrick Lamar and Drake remain in a famous dispute spanning over 10 years and an extensive sequence of songs. They have both made their intentions to ‘diss’ each other clear; exemplified by the well-known club hit ‘Not Like Us’. Yet, neither are diminished as artists. If anything, it seems to have brought equal amounts of attention to their music. By contrast, Taylor and Charli, who have actively shut down rumours pitting them against each other, are still regarded as competitors. Even if women don’t intend their music to be hateful, it will be interpreted as criticism. 

There also appears to be an unmistakable running theme in any drama fuelled take; no female feud can pass the Bechdel Test. Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber have been pitted against each other for years purely because of their ties to Justin Bieber. The media has attached an obsessive competition for a man to their very identities. In a recent interview Hailey said that she didn’t ask for this – reiterating that women condemn the imagined contest others revel in. 

Olivia Rodrigo and Sabrina Carpenter went through this same ordeal in 2021. Olivia’s ‘drivers license’ was allegedly about her insecurity and heartbreak from ex Joshua Bassett moving on with Sabrina. This spiralled out of control, leading Sabrina to write ‘because i liked a boy’. She recalled being labelled ‘a homewrecker’ and a ‘slut’ and getting ‘death threats’. While the internet loves to send out a witch hunt, the man in question never receives the same backlash. 

So why do we feel entitled to comment on celebrity relationships and their lives just because they are in the public eye? And why is vague evidence such as lyrics treated as fact based on interpretation? This all comes down to parasocial relationships. People have a one-sided sense of intimacy with their favourite stars. 

Ironically, fan culture mainly consists of women, who are willing to bring down other women. They will treat other artists as opposition and jump on a ‘hate train’ in defence. Historically, this has proven to be a straightforward way to obtain male validation, using the patriarchy for personal advantage. Ultimately, pitting successful women against each other is a tool to suppress unity, and the encouragement to pick a side is a parasocial obligation that feeds into further divide.

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