At my summer job in London, I was talking to a colleague who had also studied at University of Birmingham. As I was about to go into my second year and she had already graduated. Naturally, I was curious about the experience of second year and whether it was better than first year. She replied saying second year was so much better and admitted she hadn’t really enjoyed first year at all. 

This segued the discussion onto, admittedly, a pretty sad, yet surprisingly honest path. We began sharing our not-so-great experiences of first year: missing London, feeling isolated and pretending to love university more than we really did. We both agreed how when we came home for reading weeks or holidays, we would meet up with friends from other universities who seemed like their university experience was the time of their lives, and we would play along. We both felt we needed to exaggerate our experience, afraid to feel as if we were the only ones to not live their best university life. 

I started wondering how many people felt this way. Do people really love first year as much as they say they do, or are many of us caught in a cycle of forced positivity – telling ourselves we are having fun because we feel like we should, and everybody else seems to be?

Do people really love first year as much as they say they do, or are many of us caught in a cycle of forced positivity – telling ourselves we are having fun because we feel like we should, and everybody else seems to be?

There is, definitely, a pressure to enjoy university – perhaps because it is so often seen through rose-tinted glasses. Personally, I have heard time and time again how people who have graduated from university say it was ‘the best time of their lives’ and how excited I should be. Although this certainly may be the case for some people, the truth is, moving away from home can be extremely isolating. According to the BBC, a total of 59 per cent of students said they were lonely most of the time, all of the time, or at least once a week; it is normal to disagree that university is ‘the best time of your life’.

Having lived in London my whole life, moving to another city – albeit a two-hour train journey away – felt extremely different. Instead of Soho, it was Broad Street. Instead of Big Ben, it was Old Joe. Although I did not view myself as the type of person to get particularly homesick and always thought I would adjust well to university life, I found the change jarring. At first, I wished I was at home – I missed the noise, the constant movement of London, the feeling that something was always happening somewhere. I even missed the overpriced coffee, the chaos of the Central line at rush hour and the queues for Pret at nine o’clock in the morning. 

Birmingham, by contrast, felt unfamiliar. Although it is the second busiest city in the U.K., it felt smaller, quieter and slower. It felt lonely to be in a city where when I travelled to the Centre, I was not met with the same level of stimulation and where I did not have the comfort of my own bed, my parents and my close friends. 

However, as time went on, I began to appreciate Birmingham in ways I had not expected. Although the first year was certainly difficult, I made an effort to enjoy what Birmingham has to offer as much as possible. I would listen to music whilst walking down the canal, go on day trips with friends to places such as Stratford-upon-Avon and go on walks such as in the Lickey Hills or simply around the Vale. Gradually, the city began to feel less unfamiliar.

I would listen to music whilst walking down the canal, go on day trips with friends to places such as Stratford-upon-Avon and go on walks such as in the Lickey Hills or simply around the Vale

Now, as I write this in London during a reading week, I reflect on how much my opinion has changed. I feel excited to go back to Birmingham – to study in cosy coffee shops such as Grounded and Heybrew, to hear Old Joe chime every hour or to have movie nights with my friends who I once was so worried I would not make, but who now feel like family. 

I find it interesting how distance changes perspective. Being in Birmingham made me miss the bustling energy of London, yet distance from Birmingham has made me realise how much it has become a part of my life. Distance certainly has made my heart grow fonder, not just for where I am from, but also for where I have made home. Read more from Travel here:

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