Comment Writer Joseph Helsby reflects on his time as a fresher, noticing how the onslaught of freshers week, lectures, and societies affected his first year friendships
After a fairly underwhelming night out to The Mill Club in Digbeth, now XOYO, I went to bed quietly confident. I was sure my flatmates would become some of my closest friends at university. For the next fortnight my prediction rang true. We went out together, spent hours in our communal kitchen, and successfully navigated the chaos of Freshers’ week. I felt as if I had struck gold, especially after reading horror stories online and hearing some of the experiences of my school friends.
I felt as if I had struck gold, especially after reading horror stories online
As the welcome weeks ended, the chaos slowly transformed into a more fixed routine. Classes were in full swing, sports teams had started training, and societies were holding their first socials. The honeymoon of freshers’ week was over. As I was adjusting to this new rhythm, I noticed that everyone seemed to be forming important friendships, whether through extracurricular groups or on their course. I began to wonder whether the friendships I had started would last, or whether I had to start again, a thought that slightly dampened my social confidence.
These doubts grew as I saw my flatmates less, with everyone caught up in different schedules, relationships, or social circles. Initially, this felt unsettling, as if I were being left behind. But crucially, the first year of university is defined by an uneasy balance between settling in and trying new experiences. As a result, early friendships are incredibly malleable. I found people drifted in and out of my daily life, like a kind of social trial and error.
crucially, the first year of university is defined by an uneasy balance between settling in and trying new experiences.
To me this uncertainty is twofold. At the time, I remember it as the root of most of the stress I experienced in first year. Sometimes I found myself unsure of who my friends really were. Nonetheless, it is this uncertainty that brings you the freedom which makes university life so attractive. If you can learn to live with some social instability, it can be very rewarding. It lets you meet new people and explore communities without old expectations. To get the most out of your first year, you need to embrace a little uncertainty.
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