Louis Wright, Gaming Editor, shares his experience serving up the ultimate student dinner speciality: slop.

Gaming Editor | ( ̶T̶e̶m̶p̶) Lead Developer | MA Film & Television Research & Production | BSc Computer Science | BurnFM Deputy Station Manager | Generally Epic
Images by Louis Wright

I love to cook, but cooking takes time. I am also broke. 

How do I get around the challenges of time and budget when it comes to feeding myself with something more nourishing than a bowl of instant noodles? The answer is slop. For millennia people have subsisted off of bowls of differing slops and slices of bread, and this student’s lifestyle need not be fancier than this time-tested tradition.

Slop is simple. All you need is a saucepan and whatever (and I mean whatever) you have lying around. Tins from the pantry are an ideal component- peeled or chopped tomatoes making a superb base. Chickpeas are a great source of protein and provide a nice crunch to the slop if it is so desired. You’re off to the races if there’s a stock cube lying around, providing a depth of flavour to the slop.

The last time I made slop a tin of artichoke hearts went in. Don’t ask why I owned this obscure item in the first place. Are artichoke hearts a rogue choice for a meal? Potentially. Are they a rogue choice for slop? No, for that is the beauty of slop. Slop does not discriminate, slop takes whatever it is given and melds it into a fully fledged meal. Absorbs it into its mass to become more than the sum of its parts, in a truer sense than that phrase has ever been used.

Have you got vegetables lying around in the fridge that may or may not be rotting? Cut off the gross bits and throw them in the slop. The vegetables will appreciate it, the slop will appreciate it, and you will certainly appreciate it. Carrots mush up nicely, but mushrooms, peppers, and garlic certainly won’t go amiss.

Slop is, realistically, the only meal a person could ever want or need. It fulfils all needs nutritionally, and is warming to the heart, body, and soul. Serve it on bread, serve it on pasta, slop is delicious either way. Does your pantry, like mine, look like that of an English peasant from the Dark Ages? Slop is the answer.

While I would provide a recipe for slop, that defeats the purpose of slop. It is freeform art in a sense so feel free to slop it up, judgement free.

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