Life&Style Writer Charis Gambon answers some questions on being married at 23 years old
I am currently 23 years old and six months ago I got married. My partner Oscar and I met on the first day of my BA History degree in September 2016. There are many questions and opinions around me getting married in my early 20s that I will answer here in this article.
Why did you decide to get married?
I decided to get married because we had been together long enough that the decision had to be made- marriage or bust. As it stands, he had casually spoken about ‘when we are married/have a family’ or some time, so we knew we were ready. I had been with Oscar for five years, and I feel that we have been through a lot together and that there is nothing else we need to know about each other. We knew everything there is to know to take the final step.
What engagement or wedding traditions did you follow?
We picked the engagement ring together and we picked the place and date that he would ask me to marry him. Marriage had been something casually discussed so it was not a surprise, which strays from the traditional way. In terms of the wedding, I had a white princess dress, white veil, bouquet, something old, something blue and something borrowed. He certainly did not see the dress before the wedding! We had the first dance which lots of people did not expect.
Do you think securing financial stability is important before getting married? Was that a consideration for you and your partner?
Neither of us had a lot of money, but we have always agreed on a level of financial separation anyway. We never wanted to trap or control the other financially, and waiting to have money would have left us unmarried for a lot longer.
What negatives have you considered before marrying young, such as regret or ‘fear of missing out’?
I do not feel that I will regret being married at 23 later on in my life, I actually think it is a great thing as we will be able to grow old together and will have spent a long time with each other. There may be some things I will miss out on, but I don’t mind too much when it comes down to it. Some people are a little put off by the fact that I am married but I largely do not mind because I have everything I need.
How is being married different from or the same as being in a long term relationship?
Legally the status is different and that makes a difference in terms of next of kin and property. Marriage comes with a ‘permanence’ and especially when young, people will take your relationship more seriously when you are married.
What is your favourite part of being married?
You will always have someone there for you who cares about you and wants to hear what you have to say. When you come home from work, they will want to see you and spend time with you. They will do the things you love with you, and you will do the things they love with them too. My partner is very supportive of everything that I do, and I feel that we bring out the best in each other. He pushes me to achieve everything that I want to.
Are there some things you are tired of hearing?
There are a few things I am tired of hearing: ‘you’re too young to make that decision,’ ‘you don’t hear of people getting married in their twenties in this modern age anymore,’ ‘where’s my Prince Charming? I hope I meet mine at University,’ and ‘how do I get him to ask me’ and so on.
What do you hope for in the future of your marriage?
I hope that we are still together and that we will be able to improve and grow together. We try to support each other always and I hope it stays that way. I don’t know where we will be geographically, but I can see us being together.
Do you have any advice for the romantics out there?
It is not a race! I got married young because I met someone and I felt that it was right for me, it will not be the same for everyone.
I have found being married young to be wonderful so far in the first few months of my marriage. It is lovely to know that you will always have someone by your side. I do not regret getting married as I felt that it was right for me. The most important thing to remember is that every relationship moves at its own pace- it is different for everyone and no relationship is perfect.
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